PoEtRy

the CoRnEr of Me

Poetry is my second language. I don't want to be great, I just want to write. Here's some of my poems and also other poet's work that touches on something I also feel or believe or see.

the sun leaves without its shadow

as the acrid smell of loss

flows in through the screen window

this light is old, all used up

in my dreams of unattained happiness

i keep falling behind the breeze

whisking away my memories

of your wide-open baby eyes

taking in my broken reflection

wondering at the scars in my cheeks

after all my hours spent crying

tightening my jaw and fists

holding down the screams, alive

i am still alive, breathing ragged

falling deep inside myself

away from any helping

and the stares at all directions

you should be doing the same

but you're only paper & plastic

leaving me behind to melt

we were under the same lights

harsh, reaching for your air

pulling you away from me

i wasn't strong enough

not to keep you here, then

and while i cried & prayed

you slipped into sleep

peaceful, falling backwards into

the abyss of the tarred end

you left me alive alone

to fend for myself through

the drenching pain without

you to hold onto, to

speak my soul's violent fear

from too much agony & love

worthless enough to fail you

i can't breathe alone

i don't want to be seeing this

when you are so far away

substance is nothing

in this world of shallow

i sit in its humidity

dripping of salty dismay

i may live here these days

but i will never belong

to the these love-less idols

i do not feine(sp?) perfection

i'd rather strive in humility

continually kicked under expenses

taking the places of life

pseudo breaths taken in

digital lungs of carbon

when what we were bred for

is destroyed by our own ignorance?

Untitled(11..this is a weird one)

you are binding my light

some happiness in life

wanting to break you

until i have gained freedom

to run through the sky

unmatched by any painter's eye

stifle this orange cry

loud but utterly painless

and you picket fence

for you can never fly

Untitled(10...my awful attempt at rhyming)

waiting with my face

reflecting the undesirable place

of burdening illusions

i am wishing for confusion

pushing against your intrusion

you are not one to give in

your truth kicking my shins

more painful than my inherent sins

don't let me slip away

from your forever time today

i'd like to try and stay

cause you've got so much for me

if only my conscience could see

what it's potential could be

the end of solitary distillation

you are not only certain interperatation

but Lord of this creation

i can only be, without want

around and throughout

i'm frustrated again

that i can't stretch

that i can't perfect

all my minutes wasted

and i can feel the tears

with my hands & a pillow

while my breath is ragged

i want to scream

but then you're there

your voice in my head

with your beautiful eyes

with those long fingers

even when i'm all crazy

and you're comfortable

smooth, easy, sitting back

with you're chin on my shoulder

i don't need to cry anymore

cause i've got ma' man (ha-ha)

to keep me going, breathing

i've got my gift from God

a best friend and confidante

so why did i rage before

thinking i've got nothing

in this world to keep peace

at my back, to let me sleep

when you were there all along

being the lovely that you are

how could stars possibly shine

after a day such as this

how could one possibly breathe

after a pain such as this

to say its vengeful hello

through broken teeth

and such harsh words

how could the sun rise again

after tears such as these

how could there be warmth

after absences such at these

the reminder flew in

to claim the happiness

and steal it laughing

how could life continue longer

after everyone gives up

how could hope last longer

after everything is stolen

if i could make myself perfect

it'd be so much easier on you

in defense of the day

spent in a haphazard way

i've discovered myself incomplete

so many hours i've wasted

with you tearing it all apart

we were both unadmittedly miserable

unhappy, confused, disgusted

living simply wasn't same

we were headed for decay

then i was invited out to play

away from who i was becoming

while you chose to stay

i think i've realized today

best friends don't walk away

and they don't keep you at arms length

so why am i so misled

as to grieve your death

when you'd rather me not

guess i should just pray

wait for you to wake up

from the daze you live in

and i'll never walk away...

tip toeing on thin lines

between reality and realization

picking up parts of understanding

placing them in my mouth

so that they might slide

down to my stomach

and through my veins

then Ill have it all figured out

my mouth will move

when my mind wills

the words will spill out

making everything alright again

Untitled(4)

Im extremely far from perfection

so sue me

or steal my chances of trying harder

you seem to like your position

put yourself above my head

so Im groveling at your feet

though not by my own free will

if this world spun

according to my lifes whims

youd be speaking to me now

and wed be civil, almost friendly

but its like youre afraid

that itll all turn out bad

why not?

take a huge step forward

meet me on the street

strike up a random conversation

about the song youve had

stuck in your heads for days

Id appreciate your every word

savoring it in my open ears

because Ive almost forgotten

your amiable voice, its reverberation

mute mouthings echo

bouncing off my nerve endings

you sigh out loud, heavily

grip the mouse a little harder

heart pounding slightly

searching your mind for an answer

or maybe a reason why

you should never speak again

to this crazy girl

who writes extremely long poems

instead of just coming out with it

Your Poem

today i questioned the sky

screamed at its all-knowing spanse

it answered with the setting sun

the colors explained my being blind

our love was enough to

keep us both alive through

all that tried to tear us

away from the sight of each other

who is this that holds your heart

the moon asked when i

could not find its face that night

a friend very dear to me

i replied with a whisper

afraid you might hear my words

foolish to think so as you were

quite far from the place i sat

though in some crazy-headed moment

i realized you were much closer

than the brilliant stars could tell

your hand covered mine and

i was filled up again

by the loveliness of it all

Because We Can

O yes we are

such a happy bunch

we hate all opinions

except our own

and we shove them

in your faces

like you arent worth

our time of day

we act as if

we are the only

important people on Earth

then we hoard ours

our divine happiness

say that weve got all

weve ever needed

but take so much

time to complain

about every little

thing we hate

we wont ever change

cause were so full

of holes and things

and theres this world

over our eyes

were doomed forever

to wallow in

our own unfullfillment

Untitled(3)

slipping into a daze

late night watching me

in my emotional cycles

I sit in my state

of seemingly perpetual alone

my words almost tangible

I reach out for them

with cold-numbed fingers

I crack with movement

shattering into as many pieces

with cumbersome movements

weighed in thick air

my mind having wandered

off to some blind spot

or will my death simply be

an artistic amnesia?

that drives me to an edge

sharp, lethal to the touch

veins screaming in all-knowing

muted blubbering

guttural sickness sinking

falling to the floor

eyes roll up into

my pretty little head

o dear breath dont

leave me here yet

precious precise timing

I know Ill never be ready

light floods my pupils

heart jumps in sudden fright

I am alive; surprise!

simply let myself wander

too far into my separation

mother yells into my ear

"go to bed baby

its too late"

Love Me

I wish these tears could deplete

the longing for you inside

though I know that its all wrong

I want to rip out my heart

and tell it to stop loving

or maybe that in itself

is the very problem

I have become ingrown

no matter how many tears

I vomit into this abyss

I can not achieve perfection

Ive changed so much

I can feel it deep down

different spots of blood

sliding through my openings

do I even sound like me

thinking now upon it

where was it I was left

to watch my shell drift away

you say you love me

but I am wary to trust

I can not even rest in

this filthy stolen skin

Im an imposter now

and you can not know me

let alone love my being

Perfect

if you give a girl a word

dont make it perfect

cause then shell feel

she has to live up to it

she just got comfortable

with living in her own skin

she wants an understanding word

something to sink her teeth into

shell never be your angel

or your pure savior

shes only as human

as your words allow her to be

Mirrored

sitting there smiling back, so nice, the enemy

look away, youre gone, then back, im spent

your face like mine, so aloof, mocking me

im sick of your itching presence, the audacity

you try to steal my view, I cant

sitting there smiling back, so nice, the enemy

ive put up with your stuff, quite leniently

unable to read you, eyes closed, speak, repent

your face, like mine, so aloof, mocking me

I scream, you watch, you regurgitate, so quietly

frustrate this twin relation, you mime, quite intent

sitting there, smiling back, so nice, the enemy

ive found its easier to ignore you auspiciously

make you believe its a new game, youre content

your face, like mine, so aloof, mocking me

we sleep, we dream, we lie, so truthfully

I lead, you follow, we mold, we invent

sitting there, smiling back, so nice the enemy

your face, like mine, so aloof, mocking me

Something of Mine(2)

i sing songs

that i so wish i could have written

but my words are fumbled

clumsy with the weight of impatience

for i am no longer patient

with the redundant seconds of every damn day

so i sing another's words

that came from the depths of her soul

crying out for love, for understanding

she's got tears flowing through her voice

while i imitate her notes very cheaply

when will i find my own melodies?

Untitled (1)

right now there is little known

about myself, of who i am

though i know of certain truths

i know my heart has never been

broken, shattered to unidentifiable pieces

yet i've felt shards inside

poking around my center

causing most excruciating pain

right next to my heart

between my wheezing lungs

the pain, it catches my breath

leading me to tears and

unanswered questions called out

in that sore place

i find the inner-most workings

of who i am, who i will be

after the tremors subside

i realize with one short breath

that what i've felt

has been the tearing of my soul

bleeding out its existance

and still i wonder if when

the human body can be duplicated

despite the workings of heart and brain

will that body know its soul

by feeling it slide around inside?


				*the CoRnEr of Me* *PoEtRy*



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		Poetry is my second language. I don't want to be great, I just want to write. Here's some of my poems and also other poet's work that touches on something I also feel or believe or see.



		Untitled(13) the sun leaves without its shadow as the acrid smell of loss flows in through the screen window this light is old, all used up in my dreams of unattained happiness i keep falling behind the breeze whisking away my memories of your wide-open baby eyes taking in my broken reflection wondering at the scars in my cheeks after all my hours spent crying tightening my jaw and fists holding down the screams, alive i am still alive, breathing ragged falling deep inside myself away from any helping and the stares at all directions you should be doing the same but you're only paper & plastic leaving me behind to melt we were under the same lights harsh, reaching for your air pulling you away from me i wasn't strong enough not to keep you here, then and while i cried & prayed you slipped into sleep peaceful, falling backwards into the abyss of the tarred end you left me alive alone to fend for myself through the drenching pain without you to hold onto, to speak my soul's violent fear to be silent with from too much agony & love worthless enough to fail you i can't breathe alone not like this i don't want to be seeing this when you are so far away Untitled(12) substance is nothing in this world of shallow i sit in its humidity dripping of salty dismay i may live here these days but i will never belong to the these love-less idols i do not feine(sp?) perfection i'd rather strive in humility continually kicked under expenses taking the places of life pseudo breaths taken in digital lungs of carbon where do we all go when what we were bred for is destroyed by our own ignorance? Untitled(11..this is a weird one) picket fence you are binding my light am i not owed some happiness in life as anyone i am wanting to break you burn you alive until i have gained freedom to run through the sky falling into colors unmatched by any painter's eye cradle my passions stifle this orange cry i will be my sunset loud but utterly painless and you picket fence will bow at my toes for you can never fly Untitled(10...my awful attempt at rhyming) waiting with my face reflecting the undesirable place of burdening illusions i am wishing for confusion pushing against your intrusion you are not one to give in your truth kicking my shins more painful than my inherent sins don't let me slip away from your forever time today i'd like to try and stay cause you've got so much for me if only my conscience could see what it's potential could be the end of solitary distillation you are not only certain interperatation but Lord of this creation i can only be, without want Untitled(9) my thoughts sift around and throughout i'm frustrated again that i can't stretch that i can't perfect all my minutes wasted and i can feel the tears at the back of my throat cover my face with my hands & a pillow while my breath is ragged i want to scream to beat me up to give it all away a simple release... but then you're there your voice in my head "its ok baby you can do it." i smile because its you with your beautiful eyes and your hands with those long fingers and your arms that surround me even when i'm all crazy and you're comfortable smooth, easy, sitting back you're my calm with you're chin on my shoulder i don't need to cry anymore cause i've got ma' man (ha-ha) to keep me going, breathing i've got my gift from God a best friend and confidante so why did i rage before thinking i've got nothing in this world to keep peace at my back, to let me sleep when you were there all along being the lovely that you are Untitled(8) how could stars possibly shine after a day such as this how could one possibly breathe after a pain such as this reality crashed in to say its vengeful hello through broken teeth and such harsh words how could the sun rise again after tears such as these how could there be warmth after absences such at these the reminder flew in to claim the happiness that all had left and steal it laughing how could life continue longer after everyone gives up how could hope last longer after everything is stolen Untitled(7) i'm torn between hating myself and blaming you if i could make myself perfect i would if only i could... it'd be so much easier on you Untitled(6) in defense of the day spent in a haphazard way i've discovered myself incomplete so many hours i've wasted with you tearing it all apart we were both unadmittedly miserable unhappy, confused, disgusted living simply wasn't same we were headed for decay then i was invited out to play away from who i was becoming while you chose to stay i think i've realized today best friends don't walk away and they don't keep you at arms length so why am i so misled as to grieve your death when you'd rather me not guess i should just pray wait for you to wake up from the daze you live in and i'll never walk away... Untitled(5) tip toeing on thin lines between reality and realization picking up parts of understanding placing them in my mouth so that they might slide down to my stomach and through my veins then Ill have it all figured out my mouth will move when my mind wills the words will spill out making everything alright again Untitled(4) Im extremely far from perfection so sue me or steal my chances of trying harder you seem to like your position put yourself above my head so Im groveling at your feet though not by my own free will if this world spun according to my lifes whims youd be speaking to me now and wed be civil, almost friendly but its like youre afraid that itll all turn out bad why not? take a huge step forward meet me on the street strike up a random conversation about the song youve had stuck in your heads for days Id appreciate your every word savoring it in my open ears because Ive almost forgotten your amiable voice, its reverberation mute mouthings echo bouncing off my nerve endings you sigh out loud, heavily grip the mouse a little harder heart pounding slightly searching your mind for an answer or maybe a reason why you should never speak again to this crazy girl who writes extremely long poems instead of just coming out with it Your Poem today i questioned the sky screamed at its all-knowing spanse it answered with the setting sun the colors explained my being blind our love was enough to keep us both alive through all that tried to tear us away from the sight of each other who is this that holds your heart the moon asked when i could not find its face that night a friend very dear to me i replied with a whisper afraid you might hear my words foolish to think so as you were quite far from the place i sat though in some crazy-headed moment i realized you were much closer than the brilliant stars could tell your hand covered mine and i was filled up again by the loveliness of it all Because We Can O yes we are such a happy bunch we hate all opinions except our own and we shove them in your faces like you arent worth our time of day we act as if we are the only important people on Earth then we hoard ours our divine happiness say that weve got all weve ever needed but take so much time to complain about every little thing we hate we wont ever change cause were so full of holes and things and theres this world over our eyes were doomed forever to wallow in our own unfullfillment Untitled(3) slipping into a daze late night watching me in my emotional cycles I sit in my state of seemingly perpetual alone my words almost tangible I reach out for them with cold-numbed fingers I crack with movement shattering into as many pieces with cumbersome movements weighed in thick air my mind having wandered off to some blind spot or will my death simply be an artistic amnesia? that drives me to an edge sharp, lethal to the touch veins screaming in all-knowing muted blubbering guttural sickness sinking falling to the floor eyes roll up into my pretty little head o dear breath dont leave me here yet precious precise timing I know Ill never be ready light floods my pupils heart jumps in sudden fright I am alive; surprise! simply let myself wander too far into my separation mother yells into my ear "go to bed baby its too late" Love Me I wish these tears could deplete the longing for you inside though I know that its all wrong I want to rip out my heart and tell it to stop loving or maybe that in itself is the very problem I have become ingrown no matter how many tears I vomit into this abyss I can not achieve perfection Ive changed so much I can feel it deep down different spots of blood sliding through my openings do I even sound like me thinking now upon it where was it I was left to watch my shell drift away you say you love me but I am wary to trust I can not even rest in this filthy stolen skin Im an imposter now and you can not know me let alone love my being Perfect if you give a girl a word dont make it perfect cause then shell feel she has to live up to it she just got comfortable with living in her own skin she wants an understanding word something to sink her teeth into shell never be your angel or your pure savior shes only as human as your words allow her to be Mirrored sitting there smiling back, so nice, the enemy look away, youre gone, then back, im spent your face like mine, so aloof, mocking me im sick of your itching presence, the audacity you try to steal my view, I cant sitting there smiling back, so nice, the enemy ive put up with your stuff, quite leniently unable to read you, eyes closed, speak, repent your face, like mine, so aloof, mocking me I scream, you watch, you regurgitate, so quietly frustrate this twin relation, you mime, quite intent sitting there, smiling back, so nice, the enemy ive found its easier to ignore you auspiciously make you believe its a new game, youre content your face, like mine, so aloof, mocking me we sleep, we dream, we lie, so truthfully I lead, you follow, we mold, we invent sitting there, smiling back, so nice the enemy your face, like mine, so aloof, mocking me Something of Mine(2) i sing songs that i so wish i could have written but my words are fumbled clumsy with the weight of impatience for i am no longer patient with the redundant seconds of every damn day so i sing another's words that came from the depths of her soul crying out for love, for understanding she's got tears flowing through her voice while i imitate her notes very cheaply when will i find my own melodies? Untitled (1) right now there is little known about myself, of who i am though i know of certain truths i know my heart has never been broken, shattered to unidentifiable pieces yet i've felt shards inside poking around my center causing most excruciating pain right next to my heart between my wheezing lungs the pain, it catches my breath leading me to tears and unanswered questions called out in that sore place i find the inner-most workings of who i am, who i will be after the tremors subside i realize with one short breath that what i've felt has been the tearing of my soul bleeding out its existance and still i wonder if when the human body can be duplicated despite the workings of heart and brain will that body know its soul by feeling it slide around inside?